When I came across this post today on Boing Boing, this was my train of thought, more or less metaverbatim:
Zeppelin versus pterodactyls? That would be a freakin’ sweet movie. I’d probably watch that. No, I’d definitely watch that. A blimp facing off against a flying reptile? There’s so much right about that premise that no amount of wrong can compromise its entertainment value. Well, unless whoever directed Crossover got the directing nod for some reason (ahem – Preston A. Whitmore), but that’s unlikely. So yeah, dude, I’d so watch this movie. A dirigible going head-to-head with a dinosaur? Man, that’s so awesome. What a combination. Zeppelin versus pterodactyls. Wow.
Those were my thoughts. I could not for the life of me tear myself away from the magnificence, the spectacle, the sheer cinematic genius that combination – zeppelin and pterodactyls, just in case you forgot – would afford its viewers. The poster even throws in a biplane for the heck of it, just to make sure those whose pants haven’t been soaked in their own excitement-induced urine don’t remain clean and dry much longer. This is like the stop-motion photography, lost-continent genre movie equivalent of Jordan versus Bird (the poster would include Sir Charles as the biplane), or Lohan versus Duff circa 2003, except a thousand times more epic.
So all that got me thinking – what other combinations would have this awe-inspiring, mindhole-exploding, blowing-in-an-unmistakably-away-direction, face-melting effect on people (namely: me) solely based on the sheer spectacle potential (S.S.P.)?
This is a preliminary list of such combinations:
- The RMS Carpathia vs. Meerkats
- Skyscraper vs. Fire hydrants
- Obesity vs. Lyme disease
- Ladybugs vs. Protozoa
- Globalization vs. The love between a man and his collection of novelty lunchboxes
- Stalin vs. Nuns at a Convent
- Hoover Dam vs. Salmon
- Electricity vs. Despair
- Locomotive vs. Beavers
- Rounded edge vs. Corners
- Blue Whale vs. Segway Scooters
What combinations have the highest S.S.P. for you?
Dude, it IS a movie, and you CAN watch it! It would have been cooler by Hammer Films, but until they get back on their feet, you’ll have to make do with the fake mashup Republic Pictures serial of Zeppelin vs. Pterodactyls (1936).
I’m not sure whether the sequel should be Locomotive vs. Beavers or The RMS Carpathia vs. Meerkats.
just to clear things up; from wikipedia:
“An airship or dirigible is a buoyant lighter-than-air aircraft that can be steered and propelled through the air. Unlike aerodynamic vehicles such as fixed-wing aircraft and helicopters which stay aloft by moving an airfoil through the air in order to produce lift, aerostatic craft such as airships and balloons stay aloft by filling a large cavity with lighter than air gas.”
now you know what dirigible means, in case you were wondering…
how about the HMS Beagle vs. The Scopes Monkey? might be a little outdated, but the SSP both real and imagined is off the charts.
monster trucks vs. jackolanterns
fruit rollups vs duct tape
a pine tree vs. a snowman
though above all, i think that a pterodactyl vs zeppelin would be FUCKING AWESOME.
Would it be trivial to say that I love you?