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I, for one, have never been offered to be bought a drink, no less a “drank.” Maybe it’s because I’m a guy, maybe it’s because I’m not what the industry calls “camera friendly,” or maybe it’s because no woman has ever thought to herself “now this is a guy I want to inebriate and take advantage of… in that way” upon first eye contact. (Let’s be real, though – many women have thought that. They’ve just all been too shy. Shy or nonexistent). On the other hand, I’ve never offered to buy a drink for a woman I’m not acquainted with, either. But I have offered to buy them a drank.

Anyway, perhaps my general unfamiliarity with this whole “Can I buy you a drink?” social script piqued my interest in the song “Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin’)” by T-Pain, featuring Yung Joc. I understood the gist of the song during my first listen, but was curious as to exactly what T-Pain was singing and Yung Joc was rapping. While Yung Joc’s verse of rap was surprisingly straight-forward and relatively airtight, T-Pain’s words left me with more questions than answers..

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highlights of my day, told in a classic Japanese 5-7-5 pattern.

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As far as I can remember, I’ve never cared much for Pennsylvania, be it in a positive or negative way. It’s the home of some snakebitten sports teams, provided the backdrop for most of the Rocky series, and birthed the cheese steak; beyond that, Pennsylvania seemed to be a middle-of-the-pack, don’t-rock-the-boat state – basically the self-content straight-B student of the Union.

But within the past few months, I’ve learned many less-than-flattering facts about the Keystone State. The sheer number of stupid, sad things about this particular state is almost shocking. Appalling. Divinely uninspired even.

REASONS WHY PENNSYLVANIA SUCKS (part 1):

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